Oceanbluesandsummerbreeze

I went to Danil's wake this afternoon at 3pm for the last time, before his funeral at 3.45pm. There will be a short service at 3.30pm. His family were already there, and so were some friends and relatives.

I greeted Albert, Danil's elder brother, then I walked towards his mum, Eleana. As I was calmer today, I thought I could comfort her, but the moment she saw me, she gave me a hug and we started to cry. When she told me that Danil respected me a lot and he kept saying he didn't play well during piano lessons, I simply lost control. I cried even harder. I really regret not finding time to fit in Danil's piano lessons the last few months, and I'll deeply regret this for the rest of my life. Eleana also said that Danil had plans for his future in music, which sadly will never happen.

As we took our seats to prepare for the service, it started to rain heavily. I guess, heaven is also crying for the early demise of such a wonderful boy.

While seated, I looked at Danil's coffin, at his photo, at the rain outside, and at the people in the room. Aleksander, Danil's little brother, was walking about innocently, and he even went up to touch the coffin. Looking at him, I told myself how nice it would be, to be a little kid, where there are no worries and emotional burdens.

The service started quite on time, and after saying a few words about Danil, the Father led us in the song, Because He Lives. The solemn atmosphere slightly lightened when the Father sang wrong words to a melody, and he quickly apologised before continuing the song. After the song, he continued with a prayer, and another short speech about Danil. He lifted the heavy mood once more by mis-pronouncing Danil's family name, Shagimardanov. He struggled with the pronounciation everytime he comes across it.

When the time came for the coffin lid to be closed, the Father asked us to take a look once more at Danil. I went up to look at him one last time, and my tears fell again. The thought of never seeing him again really saddens me. I remembered in my February 8th 2006 post, I wrote about Danil telling me about his family uprooting to France. In the post, I wrote how I'm going to miss him and his family. Now come to think of it, I'd rather he uproots to France and I miss him, than miss him in this sad way.

I shook hands with Zufar, Danil's dad, and we hug each other and our tears fell again. I guess we all know how much we're going to miss him. Then I told Zufar I won't be able to go to Mandai Crematorium for Danil's cremation and he nodded, understandingly. Part of me actually wanted to go, but I was afraid that I won't be able to take it, so when I knew that I had accompaniment at the conservatory, I was glad that it saved me the agony of making a decision, whether or not to go for Danil's cremation.

As I stood at the back of the room, watching the other people taking their last glance at Danil, the most touching sight came from his family. Seeing the back views of his parents, elder brother, and little brother (in the arms of his dad) huddled together, looking down at the coffin, can really bring anyone to tears. And the sight of his 72 year old grandmother, hugging and crying over the coffin, is enough to make even the stone-hearted cry. I'll never forget these 2 touching scenes.

After Danil's coffin was closed, he was wheeled out to the funeral van, waiting to take him to the crematorium. His family stood beside the van and watched the men push the coffin into it. Then the van set off for its destination. Danil's family got into a black mercedes and followed behind, while some of the other people followed in a chartered bus or their own cars. As I watched them drive off, I said a silent goodbye to Danil. I'm really going to miss him. I hope he knew how much I've enjoyed teaching him, as well as doing piano accompaniment for him. He was such a talented musician and a great person. He was always so courteous and humble.

At the moment, the only thing that will remind me of Danil, is his Christmas present to me about 2 years ago. It is a little box of 4 green scented rose candles, put in a cute little red santa claus paper bag. Zufar had told me he will make me a copy of a video of Danil and me making music together, Danil on the flute, and me on the piano. I'm looking forward to having the copy.